TREK

2005-05-01

I just finished watching the first of the two 'Evil Universe' episodes of Enterprise (or as I like to call it the 'Goatee Universe') and a curious thing occured to me. Does it strike anyone else as disturbing that the Trek writers' 'Evil Universe' is also apparently the 'Sexy Universe'? Both T'Pol and Sato's 'Evil' characters wear a midrif baring uniform, 'Evil Sato' is also 'Slutty Sato', and Vulcans (and thus T'Pol) are slaves to the humans. Since Trek writers tend to subsume their own impulses in what they think will please the fans, I can't tell if they think sexy, sexual women are evil or if they think the fans think that. Of course there's always the possibility they just wanted to see Jolene Blalock with long hair and her model's belly showing. Either way it leaves a foul taste in my mouth, even beyond the one I get from the episode being fairly crappy.

I read an interview with one of the producers of Enterprise and his feeling is that nobody watched Enterprise because people were too overwhelmed by all the Trek on the air. Apparently he’s never heard of the 84 different Law & Order and CSI shows on 24 hours a day. No, dumbass, the reason nobody watched Enterprise or Voyager or Star Trek: Nemesis was that you’ve run the franchise into the ground. I agree with those who say they should let Trek rest for awhile, just long enough for him to give over control to somebody with a creative, original bone in their body. Star Trek: TNG got a lot better when Roddenberry died (as much respect as I had for him, he and his vision became an anchor on the creative life of the Trek universe), and now we have to wait for these new chuckleheads to go away for it to come back from the dead.

he ship disappear and expose everyone to vacuum, etc. Real danger. But no, the leash had to be kept on the writers.

Now comes the 4th season and they get somebody else to run the show. The new guy has done a really good job I’d have to say. Starting out by wrapping up what was supposed to be the over-arching story of the entire show, the Temporal Cold War, in 2 episodes by blowing something up wasn’t the best way to handle that and the nine-millionth retelling of the ‘Ancient aliens learn humanity’ story was terrible but other than that, I liked it. Unfortunately, they basically told the new guy ‘The Titanic has broken in half and is mostly underwater, want to be the captain?’ There was little chance of anything turning the show around by that point.

The reason the ‘holodeck novel’ rumor smacks of truth is that the people in charge of Trek are capable of it. But if it’s true, they deserve the wraith of every Trekkie in existance and to never work in any creative medium again. Doing that to the people who have watched you bumble your way through one of pop culture’s most beloved franchises and turn it into a laughingstock would be the ultimate insult. It’s hard to think of that as anything but a middle finger to your fans. To steal a joke from Warren Ellis, they might as well just go ahead and replace that episode with a black screen and the message ‘FUCK YOU FOR WATCHING. -THE MANAGEMENT’.

But even if it’s not true, Trek is going into cryogenic sleep for at least a few years. Hopefully long enough for somebody with a creative bone in their body to take over. I’m available, by the way. :)

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